Are we blended or pureed?

I'm not really sure that I know how to "blog". I think I need to back up and explain a little about myself. I hope this is not too long and boring. LOL

My husband and I met and dated in high school. It was the summer before our junior year in a small town south of Fort Worth. It was love. We were the stars of each other's lives. Needless to say, before our junior year was over, we broke up (I broke his heart...he won't let me forget). Our senior year came and by the end of it, he was expecting a child with his current girlfriend. 

I graduated, lived my life, and worked for a living. It was during this time that I met and married a man that seemed different than the rest(and I liked that). In 2001,we had our daughter,  Triniti, and immediately moved to west Texas away from all of our family and friends. These times were really hard on me. I had no job, no friends, and no support group. Triniti and I were alone almost all day because he worked in the car business and that meant sun up to sun down 6 days a week. Most days I would share my thoughts with Triniti (even though she was a baby) and she would listen. She is my "compliant" child. We were so blessed to have her. 

Finally we moved back to the Ft. Worth area and wanted to have another baby. We tried and tried with no luck. I decided to see my ob/gyn (who happened to also be a fertility specialist) for help. We finally did get pregnant! Unfortunately it didn't take long before I miscarried. I was only 5 weeks along. Probably not far enough for most to consider, but for me...it was a big deal. I wanted that baby more than anything. 

After enrolling in some college classes, I found out that I was expecting again. This time I carried to term. We found out that we were having a boy. A boy? A boy! My family is mostly girls. Out of 22 of us cousins, 6 are boys. My mother and I looked at the pictures of the sonogram and my mom said, "A boy? What are we going to do with that?". In 2005 we found out exactly what to "do with that" when our son, Xander, was born. Xander is a "negotiator". He negotiates and argues about everything, but I wouldn't trade him for anything. 

Poor Xander was only 2 when my husband and I divorced. I felt bad that he was so little. So was Triniti, but Xander was really little. Those were dark times and I sill have a lot of guilt and regret over it. 

It was my high school boyfriend that pulled me through. We started talking. He was divorced and by this time had not just one, but two kids. Brody and Autumn. Triniti and Autumn were the same age and would beg to see each other and play. Soon our relationship was growing and we were married in 2009. 

My husband and I began attending church regularly and befriending people on staff at the church. We have found that the closer we walk with the Lord, the better our relationship is with each other and our kids. We are blended. This is a statement that means our lives are busy and our problems are more difficult to figure out. That's a whole other blog. lol

We had our "ours" from the "yours, mine, and ours" in December 2010. Haden is the most beautiful, stubborn child I have ever laid eyes on. He is our "strong-willed" child. I will have to touch on that later too. 

Haden is my challenge. I'm not sure why God picked me and I don't feel like I can do the job most days. I'm not sure if that's the way someone raising a child with down syndrome feels, but I imagine it is much the same. Most of Haden's tantrums occur when he feels that he can't make me understand his needs or when I try to get him to do/ stop doing something that isn't "his" idea. I'm sure he will grow out of it.